Thursday, May 10, 2012

spending less & loving more


(I started a new blog, apart from my old one.)

I know, I've been MIA for months at a time. I admit - I'm not a good blogger. It may be because of my lack of wanting to communicate my happiness in fear of bragging and struggles in fear of weakness to anyone other than my fiancé. All I've got to say is - it's been working out for us! Our form of communication, the willingness to open up to each other and listen - is one of the basis of our relationship that we both cherish and take pride of. Maybe it's the lack of communication between my parents that has made my desire to form a 'healthy' relationship with my future spouse as an underlying foundation for us. Not to say this was all my doing - for the most part, he did most of the work (always trying to get me to open up, even when I really didn't want to) staying honest and compassionate while listening to every detail of my life. I truly value my fiancé's input.  And although we may not agree on everything, I know that through all the messes in my life he's my main supporter, my biggest fån (Chinese for rice, a little inside joke we have) and I could only hope that he feels the same way about me.

So, this brings me to another topic - 'finances',... fun right? Not! I'm terrible with finances. I'm the type of girl that doesn't pack a lunch for work, purchases multiple 'venti soy lattes' a day from Starbucks, and spends a lot of time and money at HomeGoods, thrift/consignment stores, and Target. And not to mention - I was recently laid off due to large corporation transitional changes (yep, laid off at only 24). My fiancé moved out here for me, taking a significant pay cut in salary to be here with me so that I could keep working at the company I 'had' enjoyed working at (don't get me wrong, he actually really enjoys this job - but I still feel super-guilty). Our discussion on finances was probably one of the larger key life-changing aspects, learning about how he manages his finances and my telling him about how I managed mine, we weren't exactly on the same page... to give you an idea: We're both Catholic (me, being a recent converted Catholic), but none-the-less we're marrying in a Catholic church, and if you know anything about marrying in the Church - you meet with the priest and go through a little pre-marriage counseling. Our lowest score we had received was in the criteria for "cultural viewpoints" (which was to be expected, as we do come from different 'cultural backgrounds' him being Irish/Mexican/Italian/etc., and me being Chinese/Taiwanese), but then there was the "finances" our second lowest score. It wasn't bad or anything, but is definitely one of our main concerns and something we're still working on and we'll need to keep working on. We've been living with my parents for the past 6 months together (me, over a year), and now we are looking forward to moving into our new/old home - therefore gaining yet another mortgage on top of the one we already have. My goals for us in the area of 'finances' for this year: spend less, love more. And what I mean by love more, is exactly how it's written - I really hope that the 'positive' aspects of our relationship will grow 'stronger' and that through all our struggles we'll be able to maintain our 'healthy' communication efforts (after all, we did score 100% in this area).

Warm Wishes!

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